Coaching Agreements

“I love you, and because I love you, I would sooner have you hate me for telling you the truth than adore me for telling you lies.” -Pietro Aretino


Once we have enthusiastically agreed to begin a coaching relationship, this is what I will expect from you:

    • Be honest with yourself and with me (this will require courage, which you have)
    • Expect the discomfort of growth -and- breathe deeply and trust your in ability to discern the difference between safety and comfort
    • Show up for yourself, on time and fully present
    • Take responsibility for your attitudes and actions
    • Honor your own boundaries and experience
        • Unapologetically ask for what you need
        • Clearly say what is not okay for you
        • Obey your intuition at all times

In turn, I offer you the following:

    • Questions & observations—powerful, uncomfortable, sometimes weirdly obvious
    • Silence—space to answer and to astound yourself
    • Profound discretion
    • A confidential and judgment-free container in which to explore new ideas, examine old ones, dream expansively, and experience deep and sometimes unfamiliar emotions
    • Celebration of and fascination with both your successes and failures as invaluable growth experiences
    • Honest feedback (sometimes blunt, always compassionate)
    • Occasional “colorful” language and impassioned rants
    • Optional exercises, strategies, tools, resources, and education for continuing & deepening your work outside our session(s)
    • Referrals, if your specific needs are better served by another professional
    • Unconditional respect, acceptance, and love

This is what you will not receive from me in our coaching relationship:

    • The Answer(s)
    • Small talk
    • Ignoring reality
        • Pretending your excuses are valid or harmful behaviors are acceptable (enabling)
        • Pretending your lived experience is not true (gaslighting)
        • Pretending that external contexts and our collective human experiences do not exist (bypassing power dynamics, social constructs and contracts, and systems of oppression such as patriarchy, white supremacy, and capitalism, among others)
    • Neutrality on issues of injustice, oppression, and abuse
    • Promised outcomes, formulas, or scripted conversations
    • Holding you accountable for tasks & timelines (productivity coaching / progress-nannying) & being more committed to your liberation than you are
    • Agenda, expectations, or judgment about what brings you joy and what kind of life and choices will bring about your peace and fulfillment. *I do, however, have a strong bias toward connection and relational empowerment. This bias will influence the nature of our conversations.
    • Psychotherapy, medical advice, or legal counsel

“The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.” — Alice Walker