Love Letters to Humans (no. 99) — on Rules

We are responsible for the consequences of breaking unjust rules. We are equally responsible for the consequences of following them.

Rules aren’t always laws, codified and spelled out for all to examine. Some of our most powerful and pervasive rules are implicit, unspoken, invisible. We learn them by living them, as a matter of survival and a matter of fact.

The injustice of some of our unspoken social, cultural, and familial agreements lies in their failure (deliberate or unintentional) to regard the humanity, wellbeing, and innate value of everyone in the relationship.

Often, when we comply with unspoken agreements we do not regard the most vulnerable, we do not regard the lived experience of the humans in front of us, we do not regard our selves.

We come by it honestly—injustice is woven into the fabric of our societies, cultures, and families. And we get to choose. We get to examine the rules we’ve inherited and decide which ones we will accept responsibility for following, and which ones we will accept responsibility for breaking.


Relationship is. Right relationship nourishes.