Love Letters to Humans (no. 91) — on Boundaries

Paradoxically, tending to your boundaries is a profoundly effective practice for cultivating and sustaining loving & joyful connection.

Tending to our boundaries doesn’t mean building impenetrable emotional walls, pretending we don’t need care, love, support, and affection, or shutting people out when they make mistakes. Isolating ourselves and punishing others doesn’t serve us or our relationships.

It might seem obvious, but it bears stating explicitly: Your boundaries are for YOU.

Boundaries aren’t just personal—they are also inherently relational. They exist to protect you in the context of relationship, to make room for you to experience safety and joy in your relationships, and hold the possibility for you to show up in a way that honors your integrity… in your relationships.

Your boundaries exist to serve your highest good and the highest good of your relationships as you understand them. And because they serve your highest good as you understand it, your boundaries are your responsibility.

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Where are you holding resentment in your most important relationships?

How closely do your resentments correspond with the places you abdicate responsibility for your own boundaries?

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Relationship is. Right relationship nourishes.