Love Letters to Humans (no. 85) — Room for You

Today’s little reminder: In right relationship, there is room for you.

“Room for you” means room to, among other things, question, feel, learn, grieve, make decisions, experience, reflect, change and grow, thrive, fail, create, rest, think, and engage with the world we inhabit together.

I do not mean someone else must make room for us to dump every single thought and feeling we have onto them so that they can hold our intellectual and emotional barf-bags and we can feel better having unburdened ourselves (#GetAJournal). I do not mean narcissistic demands and ungoverned self-expression (like cruelty, lashing out, tantrums, or self-righteousness in the name of “speaking our truth” and “standing in our power”) become okay… every decision we make in relationship has consequences.

I mean that we are not required to give and be everything to everyone. We can’t… not without disregarding ourselves. We are allowed—required, even—to honor the limits of our very human capacities. Relationship that depletes us to the point of self-destruction is abusive and unsustainable.

Your ability to be that stellar friend, partner, parent, care-giver, leader, and whatever-you-are-that-makes-the-world-go-‘round that you want to be depends on you being resourced and present. There has to be room for you.

I’m thinking about everyone who’s giving so much right now. May you have rest, joy, and nourishment. May your needs be met. May you take up room.