Love Letters to Humans (no. 84) — on Feeling the Feelings

No one else can feel your big feelings for you—this is the work and surrender only you can do. Catapulting blame is a distraction. Demanding to know why is a distraction. Attempts at control are a distraction. Mind your business… feel your feelings.

To be clear, I am not saying that our feelings are the *only* things that require our attention. There is plenty of work to be done in these times, much of it practical and necessary. There are people to be cared for, preparations to be made, preventions to be enacted—it isn’t as though we have nothing else to do. We can do what must be done. And.

Demanding the punishment of those we believe are to blame will not solve what is happening right now. Trying to extract answers from people whose reasons will never satisfy us will not change what is happening right now. Trying to coerce and manipulate other people into doing what we want them to do will never build the world we want or the future we imagine.

These are strategies for re-creating what we know, a world that is familiar. These are strategies for upholding the paradigm of supremacy and dominance where someone else is wrong, less than human, morally inferior, spiritually indebted to us, and must be subject to our will for us to be okay… for life to be okay.

Of course we crave certainty and familiarity. Of course we do. We know these paradigms of contempt—they raised us. We came by it so honestly… and we can choose to create something different if we want it.

We don’t have to destroy anyone else right now. We can attend to what truly requires our attention.

And we can feel the feelings we’ve been avoiding.