What if we were as deliberate about celebrating people in our lives who bring us joy as we are casual about criticizing people who displease us?
I’m not at all suggesting that we stop naming and analyzing and critiquing what we want to change in the world. I don’t want us to bypass harm or pretend everything is fine when it is not fine, or act like the world is not burning, like people are not suffering unspeakable cruelty, or like we are not scared and our hearts are not breaking. For once (omg document this day), I’m not even going to tell us to mind our own business.
I’m suggesting that if and when it serves us in our most important relationships, we could choose to bring our attention, awareness, and energy to celebrating the folks we have chosen to surround ourselves with (and our very own selves), and we might have more joyful connection to show for it.
We could say a thing we adore about someone to another friend. We could tell someone what we’ve always admired about them. We could share something we love about ourselves. I’ll start. Right now I’m celebrating and admiring everyone who shows up and shares what they have, instead of waiting for confidence or making out with judgements about whether or not it’s good enough yet. I see you and thank you—your presence encourages me to show up with what I have, too. 🧡
Practice: Notice the thoughts you have about people throughout the day (including yourself). Notice what you’re holding, what you’re telling yourself, what judgments you make out with, what you choose to believe about others, what you choose you believe about yourself.
What criticisms and judgments do you casually share with others?
What gratitudes, appreciations, and celebrations could you share more generously and deliberately?
What does it feel like to imagine noticeably celebrating yourself and the people you love?