Love Letters to Humans (no. 44) — on Invitation

Relational Joy Practice: Invitation

A request to be present or participate

Also: encouragement, appeal, challenge, proposal, catalyst, cause, inspiration

In cultures that glorify individualism (I write this from the United States), it can be a radical act of courage to openly express a desire for connection and support, for other humans to be present and participate in our lives, to witness our experiences and our feelings, and to share in our dreams.

An invitation is a request, not a demand. Whether we are inviting someone to join us in bed, in conversation, in our personal experience, our offering of service, our organization, or our vision of a radically different world, invitation is the simultaneous honoring of our desire and someone else’s sovereignty. It is an expression of and requirement for consent. “This is my want. What is your want? Will you join me?”

One of the risks of inviting someone into deeper connection with us is rejection. And… belonging is our birthright. When we invite, no matter what the outcome, we declare our belief that we belong to one another—not as possessions, but as mutual participants in our shared humanity.

Relationship is. Right relationship nourishes.


What are you willing to risk rejection for? The possibility of connection, intimacy, support, greater impact, relational joy, something else?

If you knew someone’s potential “no” had absolutely no bearing on your innate and indisputable worthiness of belonging and connection, what is one invitation you would stop avoiding and make before the end of this week?

What can you only have with others—by either offering or accepting an invitation—that you cannot have alone?


Registration for Regard is open until December 29th, or until seats are filled. I also have space for private coaching in the new year.

If you want to dive deeper and practice together in 2020, I do too… let’s talk. 🧡