Love Letter to Humans (no. 38) — on Listening

Relational Joy Practice: Listening without judgment: the decision to receive what someone wants to communicate (not what we think they are saying or what we want to hear) and to understand their experience without analyzing, fixing, reacting defensively, projecting, assuming, labeling, rescuing, helping, correcting, debating, or disregarding what is true for them… even when we feel uncomfortable.

Here is a relationship myth we can dispel: comfort is a requirement for joy. It is not.

We can have both comfort and joy, but they are not inseparable. When we prioritize comfort—our own or someone else’s—we often miss opportunities to learn about and connect deeply with ourselves and each other.

I am not talking about overriding your own knowing, tolerating abuse, or forcing yourself to suffer when you have a clear no for what’s happening. I am suggesting that where we habitually find ourselves defensive or rescuing may be places where listening deeper leads to authentic connection and relational joy in our most important relationships.

Relationship is.
Right relationship nourishes.

Registration for Regard is open until December 29th, or until seats are filled. I also have space for private coaching in the new year.

I want to dive deeper and practice together… let’s talk.