Love Letter to Humans (no. 34) — on Urgency

Urgency: The relational fuckery of prioritizing quick wins and egoic gratification over cultivating and sustaining relational joy.

Supremacy and urgency are inseparable. Healthy self-esteem (an ingredient for right relationship) requires us to be with the sometimes uncomfortable knowledge that our innate worth is neither greater nor less than anyone else’s… even when we are wrong, even when they have hurt us, even when we make the inevitable mistakes that are a part of being human, even when they are doing things we are very much not okay with.

When we are uncomfortable, afraid, hurt, or not getting what we want, it can feel gratifying to dismiss, judge, insult, demonize, rage, withdraw, control, manipulate, compete, or try to get our way regardless of the cost. We want to feel better now—that makes sense. And… what alleviates our discomfort in the moment may not bring us the peace and relational joy we truly desire.

Relation joy practice: consideration & care

Where can you practice cultivating relational joy by slowing down, considering longer-term consequences, and engaging with care (especially for yourself)?

Relationship is.
Right relationship nourishes.


Over the final two weeks of this year I’m exploring some of the ways dominant, punitive, white supremacy culture impacts the ways we have been conditioned to relate to ourselves and with one another… and how we can choose something different.

Registration for Regard is open until December 29th, or until seats are filled. I also have space available for private coaching in the new year.

If you want to dive deeper and practice together in 2020, let’s talk.